Answers to Key Questions

Is Tara Human?

Many of my friends, families, and co-workers often joke that I am super human or a robot. This week, I finally acknowledged that I am human. This week I finally accepted that I am super fatigued. There are moments I can barely hold my head up or keep my eyes open. I typically know when this is about to happen because my eyes physically burn they are so tired. I spend all my time between the recliner and the bed. I am doing better about going to bed early, well Tara early. Although, some nights it is as early as 7 or 8. I nap on the weekends and often spend the weekend doing very little. And that is OK! I am giving myself permission to be tired, rest, and sleep.

Can Tara Accept Help?

The answer is yes, which is hard for me because I am such an independent, strong woman. Early on with cancer I decided that I needed to accept help because I love helping people so I knew it was how my friends and family would feel involved. However, I told most people that I didn't need anything but promised I would ask for help when I need it. Friends would bring me food, which I really appreciated.

I have acknowledged that I am at that point in this fight that I am running out of energy. As I promised everyone, when I need things I will have no problem asking for it. This week, I began asking for help. It started with changing a battery in my smoke detector and picking up magazines for me. Fortunately, I have been preparing for this moment so my food is stocked with quick food but in time, that may change.

Do You Have Too Many?

This week I was able to confidently answer the question "No" when asked do you have too many?

Years ago when I started my journey with my autoimmune disease, I confirmed you cannot have too many fuzzy lap blankets. I had questioned that prior to having a fever for ten days because I tended to buy them when they had a cute design. But during that ten day period, whenever my fever broke, it was nice to just grab a new blanket and throw the other one in the laundry pile until I had the energy to do laundry.

This week, I was faced with the same dilemma (I use that term realizing the issues I am describing are certainly not tragic). Two weeks ago, my stomach turned on me and I have not been able to drink anything. Ginger ale got me through the queasiness of my first two chemo treatments. But after this past one, ginger ale began turning my stomach. I tried water, water with juice, water with Gatorade, Gatorade, and even strawberry milkshakes...all liquids made me sick. So I got my trusty snow cone maker out to shave ice and revert back to Tara at 5, where crushed ice was my post chemo go to. Whenever someone I know is battling cancer, I always tell them to get a snow cone maker (or I lend them mine). It is a must have on your cancer fight supply list! Fast forward 40 years and we now have amazing insulated cups, which means that I can crush a full glass and eat it as I feel like it. Before this week, I would have told you that I do not need anymore; however, I now cherish all of the ones that I have:

I was able to get through this week, washing cups when I had energy but putting them in the sink when I didn't. It is also fun to eat my "snow cones" out of these glasses because they bring back memories of people who gave them to me or why I purchased them.

For today. . . I'm just sayin' XOXO