She's Back!

On Monday, August 2 I got my first IV therapy at home. I was still struggling. My family was talking about eating disorder doctors and clinics. Feeding tubes were being discussed. I was researching IV nutrition therapy. I was talking to my therapist. I was emailing oncology and palliative care. I was talking to home health care. I finally called my palliative care and told them I needed help. I felt that if something did not change soon, I thought I was going to die. 

I woke up on Tuesday feeling even worse. I got my second round of IV therapy and I started to eat a little more but I was still struggling. I needed to turn this around because there was a lot going on around me professionally that I had to handle. When it rains it pours and unfortunately as it all came together, I finally broke. It was too much. But maybe that is what it took to turn it around. They say you are only given what you can handle. I would like to remind the universe, just because you can handle it, doesn't mean you always want too. 

Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling tired but not exhausted. I was so encouraged. After my third round of IV therapy at home, I actually ate an entire ravioli TV dinner (really a snack) but for me, this was a big deal. Almost 300 calories in one meal. I ate the entire thing. Then that night, I actually asked for a meal from take out. I ate meat for for the first time in two weeks. I ate two meals that day. The stress of everything kept me up all night. Even my "sleeping shows," which are shows I have seen so many times I can fall asleep watching them, did not work.

On Thursday, I ate three meals. I started with breakfast. I felt like myself again. I had turned a corner and knew I was well on my way. After being up for 40 hours straight, I fell asleep. I slept so well that I dreamed within my dreams.

From Monday to Friday, I had turned 180 degrees on my eating. I felt like myself more than I had in nine months. People even commented on hearing it in my voice.

Apparently, this week was not just a triumph for me. The Olympians did amazing things and so did Dame Marmalade:

For tonight . . . I'm just sayin' XOXO